Today, as of this date April 20,2006, Kevin you have had your angel wings for seven full years.
It seems like yesterday I hugged you and told you I Love You. The last time I had the chance to do that was at your brother Kurts funeral. You left soon after to go to Texas and only returned to me after you too had earned your wings and Our Lord called you home.
Now I live without either of you and still ask that question "Why Me Lord"?
I have come to know I am here for many reasons...
One of which is to help your son Bryan know
who you were and how much you love him.
Another is to try to help other parents walk this path without their hearts,Which were destroyed when
we lost our children. Learning to live without part of your heart is hard, Your heart is the main part of your emotions as well as your body, So it's like learning to walk all over again, and try to do the things we are required to do all over again.
I think that most of the time I've learned to master it
pretty well until birthdays and heaven dates come along, then all of a sudden I am up against a wall and I'm unable to move in any direction, And I don't mean physically either.
Emotionally all of us hit walls along our paths of healing,But no matter how hard we try Birth and
Heaven Dates just bring us to our knees all over again.
"Your ship of life sailed away from me,
To a beautiful, wonderful new land,
I Just Pray God Gives Me The
Wisdom Here To Learn And Understand..."
Our lives now is so different, It is something I so wanted you and Kurt to have with me...Yet I know you both watch over me daily and are there when I need you most.
It is days like today I wish so much I could share so many things with you both, Like ;
This life has given me many friends, many others who have helped me walk this path, the many other people who share this path of heartless living.We are proud people, We are strong people, We are compassionate people, But most of all we are a breed so very different most will never understand or know our feelings, The feelings we once had before we lost our children... Yet we are a group who will jump when one of us is in need, We are a group who walks into the stormsother parents are experiencing in their lives, That is because we too walked into the storm in our own lives and we know that nobody can walk this walk alone, you are unable to do it alone, We all need help when we lose our hearts...
I know I am healing,and I know healing will take a lifetime
because I my heart will never be whole again my son, you see I am without you and your brother here with me.
So today (April 20, 2006), One again, we will go and let off balloons to you, and hope and pray you continue to watch over us and see how we are doing from day to day.
I Love You With All My Being Son,You And Kurt Are GREAT Young Men And Never Forget