I have waited for so long to find myself not  in the deep depression and hole I fell into when my Boys died...

Today, Oct.6th 2006, made it eight

long years since I lost the first of my

two boys, my son ^Kurt^.

(In 16 more days it will be my son

^Kevin^s 36th birthday...)

My life changed so much eight years ago,

In ways no human should ever have to

live through...

Many things have come since that day

8 years ago,Friendships,blessings,

life and of course death too.

Our family is changed in so many ways

but our values are back on track.

We now know our lives belong to Jesus

and his followers.Blaming them as we

did in the  beginning was something

we did as a reaction, Not a belief...

We now know how  special the boys were then and still are and   Always will be...

They just reside with Jesus now and

we have faith He will keep them safe

until our arrival. I feel them both with me

so much of the time,daily I can "feel"

them, or else in songs, events and things

that just bring them to my minds front everyday...Sometimes, something will happen to bring me to different parts of

their lives opening a floodgate of

memories of them both.

My life is now centered around my

grandson and his sister and brother,

I am blessed to have them in my life.

Their Mom is my best friend and I am

lucky my son chose her for his lifes love...

As I said earlier this (10/6/98) is my son Kurts 8th Heaven date and in 6 months

from now (4/20/07) will mark my son

Kevins 8th Heaven date and I know that both of my boys are safe at "home" with Jesus and they are waiting for me...

I wrote this poem in memory of my two

boys and would like to share it with

you all...

"The Miracle Of Boys"

Oh lucky me,

I had two beautiful boys.

Oh lucky me,

They were like my own toys.

Oh lucky me,

How they loved to be near.

Oh lucky me,

They grew and grew.

Oh lucky me,

They were both mine.

Oh lucky me,

They loved each other so.

Oh lucky me,

They were different as night and day.

Oh lucky me,

It made them more special.

Oh lucky me,

We formed a tight bond.

Oh lucky me,

We all became one.

Oh lucky me,

We shared so much.

Oh lucky me,

We was blessed so much.

Oh Unlucky me,

They are both gone now.

Oh lucky me,

They are with our Lord Jesus now .

Oh lucky me,

They watch over me now.

Oh unlucky me,

I never see their smiles.

Oh lucky me,

I miss them so.

Oh lucky me,

For knowing and loving them so.

In Loving Memory Of My Sons

Kevin And Kurt

My Two Great and Loving Boys.

I am and will forever be so proud

to be their Mom.